While every family has their problems from time to time, long term conflicts can not only cause chaos in the family setting, but they can also lead to significant long term damage. When family members can not get along, not only can they fight, but they can also affect the relationships of others members of the family as well. But with family conflict resolution services, families can get the help they need. From communication guidance to just having a safe place to talk to each other about feelings in the family, family conflict resolution helps families learn how to be supportive and respectful once more.
How Does Family Conflict Start?
Though it might seem a silly question, there are many different causes of family conflict. For some families, conflict might begin with a specific event, like a death or a divorce. For other families, the trouble might be caused by many little things simply piling up and not being addressed. Family conflict can start even during what seem to be happy times – new babies in the family, children going off to school, and even the beginnings of a new relationship. Conflicts within a family can begin at any time and for any reason. But when a situation is causing a family to begin to have troubles relating, that’s when the family needs to take action.
Calming Down a Volatile Situation
Dealing with family conflict begins with finding out what the actual problem is. The family can sort this out by going to a mediation service and by talking about what they feel is the issue. Each involved family member should have a chance to talk about their feelings and what they think might be the issue. This way, everyone has a chance to say what’s on their mind, while also beginning the healing process. Identifying the problem is the first step toward a solution, and it can also help to calm down even the most difficult of situations.
Communicating Frustration
Once the problem has been identified in a family, the next step is to begin to talk about what each family member’s feelings are in relation to this problem. Again, this should be a time in which every family member has a chance to speak and to be heard by others in their family. This is not a time for discussion, but rather a time to allow for venting and for the expression of one’s feelings within the safe setting of the resolution center. Sometimes, just being able to express one’s feelings about a frustrating event can help to begin the healing process and it can help others see how their actions and emotions have affected others as well.
Learning to Talk to Each Other
The main lesson within most family conflict resolution arrangements is the lesson of communication. More often than not, it’s not the event that is the trouble in the family, but rather the way family members communicate (or don’t communicate) about an event. By teaching basic communication skills, the family can begin to interact in a positive manner. For example, the idea of using ‘I’ statements instead of ‘You’ statements can help conversations become less defensive and more productive. Also, family members can learn how to effectively listen in order to facilitate their own conflict resolution.
The Setting for Resolution
The key to family conflict resolution isn’t just sitting down and talking with each other. Most families need a safe and neutral place where they don’t feel as though there is one side of the conflict that has any more advantage over the other side. Going to a family conflict resolution center or to a therapist’s office can provide this neutral setting. For many families, this setting is also helpful since the therapist can help to teach basic communication skills as well until the family begins to learn how to function on its own.
Can Family Conflict Resolution Promote Long Term Change?
When a family undergoes family conflict resolution, a number of things can happen as a result. First of all, the family gets a chance to feel as though their feelings are heard. When this happens, the family can go home and begin to feel less alone in the struggles they have, while also being aware of what the struggles of others in the family unit are as well. Secondly, a family that works together to work out conflict is a family which will work together in a variety of situations, even outside the therapist’s office. Thirdly, the lessons learned in the office setting can then be taken home and used for a variety of other conversations and situations that come up on a daily basis. Family conflict resolution works in the long term as well because the lessons learned aren’t just for the problems at hand; they’re for the problems in the future as well.
Who Should Attend Conflict Resolution?
The best part about family conflict resolution is that anyone can use this service if they feel their family is not working as well as it could be. This might include the new couple who isn’t sure how to negotiate on everything from chores to child care. Or the family with many older children might turn to family conflict resolution to ensure everyone is heard during a particularly tough time. Families who are trying to merge in the aftermath of a divorce and remarriage can also find conflict resolution as great way to ensure everyone is able to talk candidly about their feelings.
A New Way of Living
By taking on the challenge of family conflict resolution, not only will the family unit learn to talk to each other, but they will also learn to listen to each other’s needs. This will help to soothe battered feelings now and it will help to prevent problems in the future. No family is without conflict, but no family should have to suffer as a result. There are positive ways to handle conflict and family conflict resolution is where these ways can be learned.